Socrates’ eldest son was Lamprocles, whom we meet in Xenophon’s dialogues. The boy is upset with his mother. Socrates asks questions of him to help him see the many benefits he has received from his mother. “Children are indebted to their parents for giving them life, letting them behold and partake of all the blessings that the gods bestow on humans.”[8] He notes that “We evidently seek out women who will bear us the best children, and it is they whom we marry to raise a family.”[9] He points out the sacrifices Lamprocles’ mother has made to bring him to life, and then to educate him. “But even if she has done this and much more,” the boy complains, “who could bear her scolding?”[10] Socrates patiently reminds the boy that his mother has put up with his crying and whining throughout his life, and nursed him through his sicknesses. She scolds him in order to improve his character. He owes undying gratitude to his mother. Here, for once, we get a glimpse of Socrates the patient father who uses questions to teach his son, while focusing on the good qualities of his wife and his children’s mother. We see him as considerate of his wife in a way few men of his time were likely to be, and sharing in the upbringing of his young children.
Socrates’ two younger sons were Sophroniscus, named after his paternal grandfather, and Menexenus.
Some ancient sources claim that Socrates had a second wife, Myrto, granddaughter of the statesman Aristides the Just, some saying that she was his first wife, some saying she was his second. Some even assert that Socrates was a bigamist, with two wives at once, allegedly because Athens passed a law allowing for polygamy when they were short of manpower at the end of the Peloponnesian War.[11] But our best contemporary sources, Plato and Xenophon, know nothing of this, and make Xanthippe his only wife and mother of his children, the one present at Socrates’ death. The biographer, essayist, and philosopher Plutarch (writing centuries later, but having access to biographical sources lost to us) reports the tales of a second wife. “[Socrates] took in [Myrto] when she was widowed, because she was poor and lacking the necessities of life,” according to the bigamy story.[12] Plutarch rejects the story. But it may contain a kernel of truth. Socrates belonged to the same deme or township as Myrto’s grandfather Aristides; he had a close tie of friendship with Aristides’ son Lysimachus, whom we have already met (see previous chapter*).
In Plato’s Laches, Lysimachus reminds Socrates that his father and Socrates’ father were close friends.[13] This episode may even be a foreshadowing of Socrates’ later actions on behalf of Myrto, Lysimachus’ daughter or niece. By Athenian law, a woman was always treated as a minor needing a male guardian. If her father and her husband were both dead, a close relative or, for lack of a close relative, a friend could take over this responsibility. Socrates seems to have become Myrto’s guardian, and had her join his household, not—as hostile reports had it—as a mistress or common-law wife, but as a dependent.[14] Socrates’ biographer Aristoxenus, on the other hand, viewed Xanthippe as Socrates’ mistress and mother of his oldest son, and Myrto as his wife and mother of his younger sons.[15] Nevertheless, the writers who actually knew Socrates treat Xanthippe as his one and only wife.[16]
It seems unlikely that the strong-willed Xanthippe would have put up with another woman on any other terms. Before Socrates’ death his children and the “women” of his household visited him; Myrto may have been present with Xanthippe to pay her respects.[17] In this case as others, it seems, Socrates was a charitable benefactor rather than an opportunistic lecher.
[8].Xenophon Memorabilia 2.2.3.
[9].Xenophon Memorabilia 2.2.4.
[10].Xenophon Memorabilia 2.2.7.
[11].Diogenes Laertius 2.26; ps.Plato Halcyon 8.
[12].Plutarch Aristides 27.2; Athenaeus Deipnosophists 13.2.17-33; Diogenes Laertius 2.26. Early sources for this story include Aristotle (fr. 93 Rose3), Aristoxenus, Demetrius of Phaleron, Callisthenes, Hieronymus of Rhodes, and Satyrus.
[13].Plato Laches 180e.
[14].I am following Nails 2002, s.v. Myrto, cf. s.vv. Xanthippe, Lysimachus II. For Myrto as a mistress or wife, see Fitton 1970; Bicknell 1974; Schorn 2012: 207-209; Huffman 2012 a; against this view, Woodbury 1973; Patzer 2006: 43-46.
[15].Aristoxenus fr. 54b Wehrli with Huffman 2012 a: 276.
[16].For problems with reports of plural wives or concubines, see Patzer 2006:43-46.
[17].Plato Phaedo 116b.